Decisions, Decisions. I have written before about the simple life I was living in New Mexico and how much I enjoyed it. Quiet, slow days…no traffic…local foods. One major downside? Boredom that came along quite often. But for the most part, living quietly in a small town in the mountains was great. Then I got divorced and moved to a city in Colorado. I rarely use my car, I can walk to the coffee shop/restaurants/grocery store, and there are a plethora of museums/events to attend on a weekly basis. In many ways, my life is so different now than it was last year. However, I am not sure if I want it to be.
So confusing.
Do I want to live in a yurt or cabin in the mountains, growing my own food, collecting rain water, and experimenting with solar power? Or do I want modern conveniences like I have in my apartment in the city? Do I want silence at night and to be surrounded by nature, or do I want to hear the hustle of the city right outside my window? Which lifestyle means more to me and which one do I want? I just don’t know, and I need to work on deciding. It really is a tough call, because I truly do enjoy aspects of each now that I have spent time living both kinds of lifestyles.
Which is more simple? I think it is a toss-up, to be honest. City life makes most things easily accessible, you can use public transportation to get around, and you might tend to enjoy more quality time with your friends since they probably live nearby. Living in a small town away from it all, you have more time to reflect on life, better access to nature, a stronger dependence on “self”, and plenty of quiet to ease that busy mind. The biggest drawback to living away from it all? Loneliness. While I tend to be kind of a hermit most of the time, I do enjoy hanging out with people I know – and that doesn’t happen nearly as often if you live in a yurt in the mountains. 🙂
And so I am torn. Live in the city or live in the country? Suburbia is a nightmare to me, so I couldn’t live “1/2 and 1/2” between the two choices. I either need the city or the country. Maybe it’s time to flip a coin?
What do you guys think?
I’ve lived with this dilemma my entire life. I always live in the boonies, then move back, then back to the boonies, etc. etc. Overall, boonies win in terms of quality of life. Advantages of the city are overrated, in that I enjoy them, but cities are inherently unsustainable. My heart tells me to listen to the Earth. I can’t hear it in the cities.
The overall financial/economic/governmental situation seems so grave today, too. I would absolutely vote for at least some kind of rural alternative–a yurt, solar panels, and a chicken coop–and that’s what I’m still hoping to achieve for myself and my wife. She’d rather live in town, though. 🙂 Also considering very strongly a decade-long retreat to somewhere like rural Iowa, where right now I could buy a small farm and cut our housing costs by 60% over what we pay in Taos to rent a home and studio. There’s a little town in western IA that has fiber optic lines to every residence, for example, and decent homes *in town* for $60K or less. That’s right now, too, not counting the decline I think is still coming. In this instance, one could still have all the “city” features (walk to bank, city hall, grocery stores, library, doctor), yet be close to woods and fields. Can’t get it out of my mind, for some reason.
In response to TaosJohn, I grew up in Northeast Nebraska and really encourage people to consider the midwest when they look for a slower pace of life. The weather is diverse, the people are friendly, and amenities are never too far away. You can also see the stars at night, wildlife in the morning, drink water from the ground, and breathe in the grass and sunshine.
David – keep searching. The perfect balance of small town and city exists. Many larger cities across the midwest are not far at all from their considerably smaller counter parts. In Nebraska, it’s fairly easy to get the best of both worlds.
I understand your dilemma. I am in much the same position. We are a single income family and my husband’s job is here. Of the two kids still at home, our son is in college here and our daughter is entering a dual enrollment program beginning next school year. I want to move back to rural Missouri where I grew up and where I feel like I belong. Living in Florida feels dead. Perhaps because so many elderly (snowbirds) come here to live out their days. That energy is all around us here. I’d rather embrace life and growth. What does one do? The rest of the family wants/needs to be here right now. I want/need to be there. Factor in the issues of peak oil, climate change, lack of sustainability and a highly unstable economy, I’m very nervous about attempting to maintain the status quo. I’m doing what I can in our current circumstances with gardening and such. I’m attempting to convince city hall to allow chickens. I’m cooking as wholesome and naturally as I can. I’m trying to be frugal and sensible with every penny. Still, Missouri calls to me body, mind and soul. How do you choose between your heart and soul?
Is this not why people have a home in the county and in the city? It is a bit excessive, but if its just a yurt in the hills with a garden and an apartment in the city. That does not seem so bad.
David, I understand your dilemma. I have been there several times. I think that the biggest help to me in making that decision had nothing to do with what each offered so much as where I was in my life at the time. When you are healthy and able to do things for yourself then you really can actually say either is a good choice. So my way of dealing with it was to spend time with each decision. What I mean by that is to begin to act like you have made the decision and then live with that decision for a while. So if you are in the city you think of all the things you will need to do to make the switch to the country. You make a list of the things to keep or give away, the things you need to change (address for bills, phone service, etc). You start making decisions (but not carrying them out) about your change. You research locations, housing, etc. I found that usually after a few weeks of doing this I will either feel peace and freedom in the decision or won’t. It has worked for me every time.
I think the grass is always greener on the other side. My suggestion is to find contentment in where you already are, which sounds like a pretty great place.
It is indeed, Leo. Having lived in both green places, it’s a toss up. But I do know I am not happy here in THIS city, that’s for sure. Another city or back to the country are the options right now. 🙂
Probably so, Jim, but then it kind of takes away from “simple” I would think, at least for me.
Good points, Deb. Having lived both lifestyles I know the differences – its the actual decision that is difficult!
John, should we be neighbors in Iowa? I mean, after we were neighbors in Taos? 😉
as leo said there, “I think the grass is always greener on the other side.”
indeed i believe it’s a common mindset of us. cause we live, we have active desires, and the desire drives us to try lots of interesting things. when we feel like we can have better life in the environment which is not belong to the place we are belonged right now, then we gotta move on. allow our lives go wrong, and keep it be wrong is too wasting our life 🙂
so david, my suggestion is, if you really consider moving to another city or country is just a flipping coin matter to you, neither side over persuades you, then just flip your coin~ both places have their pros & cons, and you will never know which place can cheer you more unless you actually be there, experience yourself. if you can’t enjoy yourself enough at your first choice, then you just move on to the left option. even the left one can’t satisfy you for the best, you still can come out with new options, concluding from your past experiences.
anyway, i believe through switching places, you will always engage new and fresh environments of thoughts and inspirations, which will assist you learn a great deal from it, lead you to your next better choices in life 🙂
I moved from Seattle to live 8 miles out of a small town in a small house on 20 acres with my husband. We’re both self-employed and it’s our experiment in rural living. What’s been challenging for me, though, is how much of my work is tied to the city still- (supplies, clients, gigs)- which means a one or two trips to the city a month. (4+ hour drive 1 or 2x a month). It’s hard- this morning I work up to Great Horned Owls hooting and coyotes howling, but I’m sorry how much more I rely on a car now (I’m long-time cyclist). I agree with Leo, though, in finding contentment where you are (or just take the leap now!) Indecision can be crippling for daily satisfaction. For myself, I’m rural for the moment, assessing things in September, and by then may be lured by the boonies by the prospect of another ski season.
I’ve never understood boredom.
I’ve never had it.
I think if the world as we know it ends, your chances will be much better out in the boonies 🙂 I just like the space and elbow room.
I’ve lived in WV and in larger cities and for myself, I have to err on the side of having activities and friends available. I like solitude and the stimulation of those activities not found in the boonies such as theatre, museums, coffee shops. of course, one can be bored or lonely in the middle of the big city too. Maria sounds like the best of both – solitude and yet access to “the big city”
Why restrict yourself to one or the other? Live in both. Whichever you fancy at the time. Being a minimalist should allow you to do this pretty easily. When you long for the country, move to the country. When you want to be around a lot of people and interesting places again, head back to town.
How about a camper for a year? Think about it – imagine what it would be like to have all your belongings in a camper that you could trailer wherever you want, and have a bike for getting around, or scooter/motorcycle, or whatever your imagination comes with. You don’t need to be locked into a house or apartment. As one of the earlier commenters suggested, why not try to have both the city and the country? Or alternate, or plan a month retreat in the country every spring and fall. It sounds like you are feeling trapped between two options and really need a third, fourth, etc.
Obviously none of us commenters from afar can ultimately solve the problem for you, but I can tell you how this has worked out so far for me…
I grew up in the country, and thought that I would never live in a city. Then when I got married, my brother and sister-in-law went to Africa for three months and my wife and I apartment-sat for them while they were gone, and I got a chance to taste life in the middle of town.
We ended up finding an apartment that was in a quiet part of town, with a huge backyard that makes it feel like the country. And yet we’re close enough that are just a couple of minutes from everything we need. It’s working out well – the best of both worlds!
I’ll be interested to see how you work this out!
I’m living a good fusion of both. I’m a college student living on what is truly one of the most beautiful campi (campuses) in the nation. I have to walk to class everyday.
When I was a new arrival, I was uncomfortable. I live in suburbia, where there are no sidewalks. Also, the humid heat in the summer feels horrible to swim through.
But as I grew accustomed to sweating profusely, I grew to enjoy walking through the wonderful outdoors. The flowers and landscaping are gorgeous where I’m at.
I began to read blogs that encouraged me to take pleasure in walking slowly, in breathing in the scents around me, and in smiling at woodland creatures. My campus has preserved areas in the center that are devoted to grass and trees. They have bike paths running through them, but are otherwise untouched.
I live in a college dormitory next to a convenience store and a cafeteria. The grocery stores are just a free bus ride away. The gym, health center, and library are just across the street.
As a result of my college experience, I want to live in a similar environment for the rest of my life. I want to be able to walk or use public transportation to get to anywhere I want to be. I also want to be close enough to nature so that I can take a walk in the woods whenever I want. I acknowledge that my current existence is idyllic, but I don’t see why I shouldn’t continue for the rest of my life with both environments in balance.
One place that I have seriously considered living in is Tysons Corner in Virginia near Washington DC. The development plans for a work-life mix include park areas as well as incredible proximity to the supermall located there. As an aspiring minimalist, I should be horrified by the closeness of rank consumerism, but I would find the benefits of being near everything that I need to outweigh my everyday observation of gross consumerism.
Isn’t this a difficult problem?
I struggle with the exact same issues and my boyfriend and I are constantly debating whether we want a farm out in the country or an apartment in NYC. Both seem to have their advantages.
Whenever I get overwhelmed I take comfort in the idea that I don’t have to commit to one or the other. Just as you have lived multiple lifestyles, you can continue to go back and forth as long as you wish.
I think as humans we aren’t meant to ever be completely content, so that we are always pushing forward. Have you ever read “The Happiness Hypothesis”? Very interesting book about this very topic.
Good luck!
I haven’t read it, no, but will try to do so!
I’m interested too – after living in both types of places, it really is tough to decide. I think the key is to not decide – just do. 🙂
I’m always musing over the “best” place to live, and dream of finding a serene location close linked to an urban centre via public transport.
My list; Cape Cod/Boston, Forest Hills/NYC, Mui Wu/ Hong Kong – all sadly exorbitantly expensive though.
Why do you have to choose? Do both. Live in the city for 6 months of the year, and the countryside for 6 months. Or vary the cycle: 1 year in the city and 1 year in the countryside. That way you can get the best of both worlds.
I had a similar problem – trying to decide between living in the UK or SE Asia. So I do both (but am primarily in the UK)
So I’m not the only one whose wanderlust is overlaid with schizo tendencies? City/water/mountains.
The times I have had residencies at writers colonies was wonderful practice in small living. I took only the clothes I needed. A few books and special mementos. My computer and cell phone, pens, and a few books.
The dream? New Mexico or Sedona/California within a short walk to the ocean heck since this is the dream living in view of the ocean/Manhattan. Or why don’t we all just switch locales on a rotating basis.
That is not a bad idea at all. My family and I belonged to an internet home swap organization and had several very happy exchanges. No reason why yurt/cabin owners can’t do the same. I am planning to spend summers in a yurt in beautiful rural Washington and winters in perfect-year-round-weather Cuernavaca, Mexico. As you say, best of both worlds.