Alone time is incredibly important to one’s own mental state, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you never have any alone down time, your mind never rests! But when you are living with your spouse, partner, and/or children, finding the time to be alone with some quiet time of your own can be very difficult. Most of us don’t have an extra room in the house that can be transformed into private space for anyone, but in our case we are very lucky – we have an extra bedroom that has been used to store recyclables and the vacuum cleaner since December. We have our bedroom and I have my home office, and that third bedroom has been sitting unused…until now.
See, I work from home every day of the week. I never have to go to the office, unless you consider the local coffee place my “office” that I visit once in a while. I have plenty of time to myself in our home, as I have the run of the place Monday through Friday from 8am until 5pm when my wife gets home. I have plenty of space to breathe, to spend quiet time, to be alone…and my wife doesn’t. She gets home, I am here. She wakes up, I am here. Weekends? Well, we are both here. And humans need alone time once in a while! So, in order to give my wife some private time and some space, I am creating what I am calling “Amy’s Living Room” in our third bedroom. The room will be quite cozy – it will be carpeted (our house has concrete floors), have her desk, a few comfortable chairs and lamps, a small TV, and some of her favorite artwork. This will be her own space for when she wants to get away from it all (and me 🙂 ) and have some private alone time. It’s tough to find that time when your significant other works from home every day, so this room will serve a great purpose for her. Once I have it done, I will post a picture or two of her new “living room”.
Do you get any alone time? If so, how? If not, why not? If you can, I would really suggest you make an effort to have some quiet time by yourself at least a few times a week. It’s good for your health and sanity!
What a nice thing to do for your wife. I’m sure she’ll really appreciate it. It’s funny, my husband and I have a different problem. We’re hardly together, and one of us always has the house to ourself. We work opposite schedules, and often his days off are in the middle of the week. We can literally go 7 to 10 days without really seeing each other, except maybe in passing.
That would be the exact opposite of us, except I do have the house to myself almost all the time, and she never does at all. 7-10 days, that’s a long time. How do you guys work it out?
I was thinking “wow, what a nice idea, why doesn’t my hubby make me my own space?” and then I realized that I should probably be making him one so he can get away from pesky me that is always here 🙂
Fortunately we’re both pretty independent. I try to meet him at his work for dinner occassionally if he’s available. It’s the old saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Plus, we hardly ever argue because we don’t get in each other’s hair! 🙂
I’m in kind of a weird situation…I currently mooch a basement in the house that my sister and mom share. Yes, I’m an independent adult…in my 30’s even…I’m saving and planning for an international move this summer so I needed to cut expenses.
Anyway, I find that having the basement to myself definitely comes in handy after a full day of HelpDesking at work. I can dump lunch remains in the kitchen, grab my dog for some alone company and head down to the batcave…I can’t imagine being able to figure out this move if I still had the constant buzz of roommates and family constantly swarming around.
It’s nice to have a place to escape to. When the weather warms up, I usually disappear into the backyard, which gives my wife a break, and me a chance to smoke a cigar. It’s definitely tougher in the winter.
That’s a great idea. Everyone does need some space, no matter how independent-minded he or she may be. I obviously don’t know your wife’s preferences, but think about including a cd player/radio/whatever so she can unwind with music if she wants.
I have to admit I’m a little jealous. My SO and I hope to graduate to your level soon! Our first step involves moving out of our one bedroom apt. to a two. This will get my SO into an office (he also works from home) and that will free up space for me to relax (right now I’m at home most of the day, too). …After a desk trumps the kitchen table we can plot our next home – one with a studio just for me.
Good luck Anna! It’s so important. And yes, she will have a radio/cd player to go along with a small TV so she can watch movies, too.