Some of you may remember a post I wrote back in October titled “Some Thoughts On Downsizing My Living Situation” which was about my (then) pending move from New Mexico to Colorado. I went from living in a 1900 square foot house to a 1300 square foot apartment, which was a pretty big change at that time. And some of you may remember this post about deciding on country vs. city that was published just a few short weeks ago. Well, after much thought, meditation, reading, planning, and talking, I have decided on a course of action coming up very shortly:
I am moving, but just to another apartment in my complex.
Yep, I have basically decided to just stay put but to downsize a little. My new apartment will be 756 square feet (almost 1/2 the size of my current place) and $400 less per month. That’s $600 less per month that I have to bring home (before taxes) in income, which should free up even more of my time to pursue new opportunities or hobbies. It will offer me time (and money) to do some long-term traveling, which is something I have finally acknowledged that I need to do for my sanity. And I realized that the possibility of moving back to Los Angeles wasn’t being contemplated in the right state of mind, so I am going to hold off on any major decisions and/or moves for a while. This will come as a surprise to my friends in LA who expected me to be arriving any day now, but it is what is right for me at this point in my life – and that’s all that matters, really. It’s high time I put myself first and really plan things out instead of occasionally grasping at straws and looking for happiness in all the wrong places. So I will be staying in Colorado for at least another 6 months, if not longer, and will be spending this time working out what I want to be when I grow up (in a manner of speaking, of course).
A great book I have been reading lately is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. While I don’t buy into everything in the book (I am not a spiritual person, so some of the writing doesn’t work for me), it has changed my outlook on what “Now” is and how so much of our happiness is controlled by our feelings about the past and anxiety about the future. For too long I have fallen into that trap, and after reading 3/4 of this book I am getting that “Now” is really all that matters. If you struggle with this, I recommend this book.
I want to keep things simple. I don’t want to worry about “what if” or “when” – I want to live Now. I have always been organized and minimalistic. I have rarely held on to mementos or keepsakes. I don’t own many superfluous items that clutter up my life or my home. By external appearances, I am clean, clutter-free, patient, and organized. Only now it’s time to maintain the inside to get it to the same state, matching my external life. And this requires standing still for a while and evaluating where I am at in the process – so Colorado will be home for a while longer.
It feels good to know what’s next.