Comments on: Live How YOU Want To Or How THEY Want You To – Your Choice.

By: Meg

Meg — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 03:40:51 +0000

I think living for you vs. others is a continual life balance. Sometimes I feel selfish when I’m not doing enough for others or at least feeling compassion for their situation. It can be an emotional struggle sometimes. However, I’m slowly getting rid of guilt that comes from not ‘caring’ enough about another person and replacing it with general happiness and well-wishes for them. Actions still speak louder than words or feelings, too.

As for the wedding registry, my hubby and I wanted a debt-free and clutter-free wedding. So, we didn’t set up a registry at all, but directed gift inquiries to my mother. Some folks gave cash, others donated money to our favorite charities, and we got some tickets and wine. It was great and didn’t bring a whole lot of clutter into our home. The best wedding gift was beginning our married life with no additional debt!

By: Sky

Sky — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 16:37:09 +0000

Great post. I am older than you and still struggle with doing what I want instead of what I “should” do or what others think I “should” do. People, especially family, can be so judgmental.
“We act out of our insecurities” is one of my favorite sayings and I believe that is what is going on when we are told what to do.

By: Allison

Allison — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 01:47:35 +0000

“I was thinking of getting rid of a piece of furniture in my house this weekend that I really had no use for anymore. While contemplating what to do with it, I heard a little bird in my ear say “But you paid so much for it! Why would you get rid of that? That’s just wasting money!“. I had to really work hard to push aside that voice and decide for myself what was right for me.”

Since I’ve been purging my entire household the last week or so, I’ve constantly had this pop into my mind. Standing on the divide between chucking something because it is useless but, on the other hand, it was a bit of money is something that I constantly battle. Eventually though, it does get dumped. You know why? Because I know that with each wasted item I purchased with hard-earned money, it becomes a harsh lesson on stupid consumerism. It’s like a small punishment that makes me realism why I was being bad – and the best thing? It prevents me from spending frivolously again.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:46:34 +0000

So much for that theory!

By: David

David — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:16:02 +0000

I was in my early 30’s.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:03:03 +0000

In regards to the wedding registry, just out of curiosity, how old were you when you got married? I don’t know if it makes a difference, but we were in our 30s when we got married. We use everything we put on our registry. I just wonder if getting married a little older makes you a little more aware of the things you actually need. By the way, I use my bar ice bucket!

By: Emily

Emily — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:29:30 +0000

Absolutely agree! It is so tough to go against the grain, go against perceived expectations. I think fear has a lot to do with it – what if I fail because I chose a different path? What if I don’t live the best life I can because I take too many chances?

Actually, maybe I should scrap that last sentence. I think I’ll live a better life if I take some chances!

Wedding registry is a good example, and one I am currently grappling with too!

By: Sara

Sara — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 09:41:33 +0000

This is the most “spot” on post.

I say yes to carving out the sort of life YOU want, not what someone else wants or think you should want.

I studied Marketing because a friend recommended it. Luckily this was a great fit for me, but really what a reason to commit to something! Duh.

I ride my bike and do yoga, and I love my life. I am a very lucky woman and very thankful for what I have.

I am grateful that I get to wake up each day and live MY life.

Thanks for a great blog. Its one of my fav’s.

Sara (Sydney Aust)

By: Zengirl

Zengirl — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 23:40:06 +0000

I hear you. We are planning kid’s birthday, and we have asked guests to show up, no gifts, no gift cards, just come and have fun. I feel so light and happy to have simple party without getting bunch of toys for kids that we do not want or need.

It is hard for some people to just show up. Let’ see how this goes.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 17:12:31 +0000

I loved your comments on wedding registries. I purchased a stand mixer recently (refurbed and half price) and my mother noticed it on my counter. Her comment, “You should ask for those things on a wedding registry rather than buying them yourself.”

Why should I wait several years to make a purchase that greatly benefits me now just because its a “wedding registry” item. Further, its unlikely that someone purchasing off of a registry would search for a refurbished item to give (though I wish things would trend that way.)

And preferably, I don’t care to even have a wedding registry. I like to purchase high quality, functional items. I would never impose on my relatives to purchase an expensive knife set that I will never need to replace. Instead, I would likely list something cheaper that isn’t going to last past next Christmas. It would be so wasteful. I would prefer no gift and a heartfelt card to something that has a very short useful life.