Doing “More” – Is It Healthy To Feel Like You Aren’t Doing Enough?

Posted: February 20th, 2009 | 8 Comments »

As I type this, I am sitting in a coffee shop enjoying some organic coffee and a home made pastry. Since I work from home for myself, I try to make a point of coming here a few times a week to escape the house and to talk to other humans (The cat gets tired of my witty banter). While I am sitting here working, I keep getting distracted by the customers that come and go in such a hurry – where are they going? Why are they late? What’s the rush? One has to wonder what each person is doing today, but I know what they are feeling – that was me not so long ago.

Sure, I left the rat race about 2.5 years ago to strike out on my own. I have not worked “for the man” since then, and to be honest it would be hard to go back to doing so. I get up when I want, I make my own work hours, and I take time off when I feel that I need it. Most afternoons you would find me hiking out in the woods or by the gorge; it’s one big advantage to working for myself that I have the time to do so. But throughout most of this time, I have always felt that I should be doing “more” with my time. Even when I was out hiking or whatever, I felt as though I was wasting time and that I should be spending my time on more important things. What they were I could not even begin to tell you. But something in my mind kept nagging me to do “more” with my time…even when I could not come up with something to do. It was like a tape being played 24/7 – “you are wasting your time!” or “shouldn’t you be doing something constructive?” or “is this really how you want to be spending your free time?”. This was a constant battle with myself and one that I am only just recently learning to counteract and fight back against.

After talking to a therapist about these things, I realized that I was, in fact, wasting my time thinking about wasting my time. Makes sense, right? Whatever I was doing at that moment was life itself…only focusing on what I would do next or what I should be doing instead left me feeling rather empty and depressed all the time. I never really knew why I felt that way, but it was because I was constantly letting myself down by not living in the moment. I would go siteseeing and be in a hurry to see the next site. I would go to watch the sunset and last about 2.5 minutes before I was bored and wondering what to do next. The list went on and one…I was always thinking I was not doing enough. This madness had to stop.

And it has…slowly. I am learning to meditate. I am learning to just “be” more often, as I mentioned in my post “A Cup Of Coffee And A Window“. I am doing breathing exercises. When I go for a walk, I listen to my feet crunch in the snow or the birds flying overhead. This is a big, huge, giant change for me. Instead of rushing through my walk, rushing through some woodworking project to get finished, or skimming a book to get to the end, I am starting to enjoy the slowness of my every day life. (This post itself is taking a long time, as I keep taking breaks to look out the window of the coffee shop) I have a long way to go, because I still do feel that old “hurry up and get stuff done” mentality creeping up, but I fight the urge now instead of just giving in like I usually would. I am more conscientious of my body, my mind, my actions, and my words. I am finding that it’s just not necessary to feel like I am not doing enough…I am doing what I need to do right now. And that alone has changed my life for the better. It’s amazing what you see when you take the time to slow down.

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8 Comments on “Doing “More” – Is It Healthy To Feel Like You Aren’t Doing Enough?”

1 Laurie said at 11:03 am on February 22nd, 2009:
I am a stay at home mom with two amazing little girls. For the longest time I also felt like I was not doing enough. If I was playing with my kids I would be thinking about all the laundry and dishes that needed to be done. I felt like just sitting and enjoying myself was a waste of time. I think part of it came from other people saying that my house was neat and clean because I was home all day to do it. I finally realized one day that being with my kids and enjoying myself was just as important as all the other things I had to do. I have now learned to schedule things in and be very flexible about what has to get done and be much easier on myself when things don’t get done. I want to enjoy life and my kids not rush through it.
2 David said at 12:51 pm on February 22nd, 2009:
That’s great Laurie, I wish more people would see the value in that!
3 Laura said at 12:28 pm on February 23rd, 2009:
When my children were younger, I confessed to an older lady I often felt guilty for taking a short nap before they returned from school. Without hesitation she said: Whatever it takes to make you a better parent should not make you feel guilty.
I now apply that concept to my ‘away from home’ job. There are times I need to stop and regroup to become a better employee. I think all of us could use this concept in our lives.
4 David said at 12:31 pm on February 23rd, 2009:
We need to bring back the siesta in the middle of the day. Of course, I work for myself at home so I tend to take advantage sometimes.
5 laughing grad said at 7:10 pm on March 2nd, 2009:
wow. you’ve described me. i worry…a lot. there is always something i should be doing, so i sit and stew and worry about what i should be doing. i waste time worrying instead of doing. i make lists instead of doing. i have a hard time focusing on the task at hand because i’m thinking about what i should be doing. i tell myself that its because i’m currently in school…that one day i won’t have to worry. but i’m slowly starting to realize that all i’m doing is wasting time worrying and not living. thank you for such a thought provoking post. i needed that.
6 Adam said at 6:07 am on December 3rd, 2009:
This is really inspiring….thanks a million!
7 Cindy said at 5:58 pm on June 13th, 2010:
Fiew! Finaly someone who is like me! I feel this way too and I cry every once in a while (well as soon as I have one full day of NOTHING to do) on how useless my day was. Thank you for posting this! I feel better already!
8 Somebody Else said at 3:22 am on July 11th, 2010:
Thanks for this article. I know it was over a year ago, but I just came across it.
I have just spent the last week on vacation at home and I thought the torture would stop. I always have this feeling that I should be doing something else even if that something is the thing I last felt like I should be doing. It’s not the “something else with my life” thing entirely, although I have that too, but it’s specific things and I’m getting no contentment from this. Granted, I do ignore some of the things which I know build up within me.
Even though I’ve had a nice time off, I’m feeling awful right now, like it will be forever before I have the chance again. I so wish I could work out of the home as you do – Any tips? I can live easily on $350 a week. Sorry to vent, I just needed it.