Moving out of a relationship does not mean failure. Some people conceive the relationship as a waste of time as soon as they exit from it. On the contrary, the relationship may have been good, but could have run it’s course, and come to it’s natural end. There is no need to feel bitter or guilty about it. If nothing has come of our efforts to make it work, and to see it change for the better, then it might simply be time to move on. Here are 8 signs that it’s time to let go in a relationship:
1. There Is No Communication.
When all communication breaks down the relationship is likely to stagnate. When problems arise, or feelings get left unsurfaced, tensions grow. When we feel we cannot communicate in a relationship we can feel trapped and doubtful. If we cannot even communicate our need to communicate then what else can we do? Try to instigate genuine conversation with your partner, without taking digs or trying to score points. If they still do not listen, and you cannot learn to communicate feelings to each other, then it might be time to let go.
2. You Spend Most of Your Time Upset.
Arguments happen, it’s true. More explosive characters might find they happen often, and two explosive characters in a relationship; well.. it’s all going to be part and parcel really isn’t it? The important thing is that the time you spend together is enjoyable, at least for the most part. If the presence of the other causes more suffering than joy then it may be time to move on. If your partner upsets you constantly, or you both upset each other, all of the time, then you have to begin to question why you are together. Relationships should be for joy and growth. Not for arguments and hurt.
3. You Want Each Other To Change.
Sure, we have habits and vices that our partner can help us through, and we should be thankful for that. But if we find ourselves constantly wanting to change the other person, or that they constantly demand changes of us, then maybe the relationship isn’t right? We should love the other for who they are, so if we desire our partner to be something they are not, then we should let go, before we damage each other’s self esteem.
4. There Is No Passion.
Passion between a couple is very important; it comes in bursts sometimes and it can be expressed in many different ways. Often when we think of passion in a relationship we think of sex. This is an important form of passion and a couple should feel they can express themselves in intimate ways. It is also important to be passionate about your partner as a person; their personality, and qualities, their sense of humor, knowledge, how they approach and handle situations. If there is no passion then perhaps it is because the relationship is not invoking it, and is not right.
5. Too Much Jealousy and Possessiveness.
Jealousy and possessiveness are ugly traits. I think we are all capable of showing them to varying degrees. As a couple we can try and be honest and work through them but we should never try to prevent our partner from seeing their friends, going out, or talking to members of the opposite sex. This constrains our individuality, our needs outside of the relationship, and ultimately our freedom of choice. It is a bad relationship indeed that aims to imprison rather than liberate. If your partner is needlessly jealous and possessive all the time then it is time to let go.
6. There Is No Trust.
Sometimes possessiveness is born because there is no trust. That does not make it right. Nevertheless trust is essential for a strong relationship. This includes trust not to cheat, trust that the other will be there, and that the other will not mistreat us. When trust cannot be established, the relationship is doomed.
7. The Relationship is Rooted in the Wrong Motives.
There are many reasons for being in a relationship; the strongest and purest motive is love, and however you define it, it is born out of our desire to make the other person happy. More shallow desires can lead to tragic relationships in the long-term. Some of them that are prevalent today include; financial motives, sexual and “trophy” husband/wife motives, easy life, settling for someone, being with someone to make someone else jealous, being with them for their fame or status, etc. If you begin to find that the relationship is rooted in the wrong motives, and are not happy with this, then it is time to let go.
8. It Just Doesn’t Feel Right.
Relationships are not logical. Love is not logical. Sometimes everything can add up on paper, but something just doesn’t feel right. We might expect the love to grow over time, but it doesn’t, it might fade. If the relationship is right, love can fade and come back a million times and it doesn’t matter. If we know it is right we stick it through. But sometimes we just have to accept that something isn’t right. It might be nothing to do with us, or with our partner, just an incompatibility, or a different stage of life. With no bitterness or resentment we must learn to walk away, so that one day we find the right relationship; one that makes us happy.